Here’s how I stopped being a cow: lessons in finding pupose
Don’t get me wrong, I love cows as much as the next person. They are a beautiful animal.
What I’m talking about is a concept that I was re-reading about in my Five-Minute Journal I recently picked up again which states the following:
If you’re not moving forward, you’re most likely moving backwards. There is no standing still in life.
Unless you methodically track and do a complete analysis of your day, figuring out what is effective and what is not, your daily activities are not much different from a cow’s unconscious grazing on the field. There is no clear purpose, no guiding light that strings your actions together – they are steeped in unconsciousness.
As much as it is healthy to switch off now and again and be the cow, at some point we re-join the human race. When we do, we have a choice to let life happen to us (stay being the cow) or be deliberate in life.
So, the question then is, how to be deliberate about life. It’s a question I asked myself a few years ago and here’s are my top 5 tried and tested ideas for how to find purpose and get deliberate about life:
1. Journaling
We’ve all heard this a lot and it’s worth restating that regular journaling has been proven to help clarify the mess in our minds. I am a fan of Bullet Journaling and recently started using the Five-minute Journal which is a simple and easy way to start.
These are great ways to take a moment and reflect on what’s happening in your life and direct your attention to the things you are grateful for which may be as simple as the coffee you had this morning.
2. Know your Values
Knowing who you are and what drives your behaviours is a great place to identify your purpose, consider what’s important to you and what you stand for. This can help you find a sense of direction and purpose. I like using the VIA character Strengths Survey which is free and a great starting point.
3. Write your Goals
I’ve been a goal setter since, well, since I can remember. In my teens I set the goal of living overseas, speaking another language and having ‘foreign’ babies.
It was the 80’s at the time and I was living in Darwin with my Dad and brother. I’d never been overseas. Fast forward 10 years to the late 90’s and I was living in Switzerland, married to a Swiss guy, had 2 ‘Swozzie’ babies (Swiss/ Australian) and spoke Swiss German.
Setting goals can help you focus on what you want to achieve and give you a sense of purpose. Research has proven that as soon as you start thinking something is important, your mind will automatically look for opportunities to make it happen. It’s like playing Spotto… once you start looking for yellow cars you start seeing them everywhere!
If you want to nerd out on neuroscience and RAS, LifeXChange has some great resources: https://lifexchangesolutions.com/reticular-activating-system/
4. Experiment
Be open to trying new things to discover what you enjoy and what you’re good at. Be open to things not working and trying something else.
I don’t know about you, but I love trying new things. It’s almost like an addiction as I tend to get bored very quickly when things become business-as-usual. Besides, there is always improvements to be made to anything we do on a regular basis… right??
The trick is to be prepared to fail. More than that. Be prepared to learn when things don’t go as planned. Nothing every goes 100% to plan anyhow.
Like the time I thought I wanted to be the General Manager, People of a small organisation of less than 50 people. Although the role ticked a number of boxes, and I thought I wanted to be part of a smaller organisation I was wrong. It just didn’t suit the way I am wired.
While there were certainly challenges and I felt I could add value, it just wasn’t hectic enough for my liking. It was soon after this, that I realised I was better suited to contract and project-based work. And then ended up starting my own consulting, thought leadership practice.
5. Volunteering
Helping others can give you a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Consider volunteering or doing something kind for someone else.
I’m proud to recently join Community First Development with my youngest child where we are working on a project together for an Aboriginal organisation in Victoria. This is in part a response to the negative outcomes from the recent referendum on The Voice in Australia, and as something I have wanted to do for some time to contribute back to our First Nations communities.
Finding our purpose helps us lead more meaningful and happy lives and there are many ways to do this. We have a choice about the way we live our lives and find our purpose.
If you’re ready to stop being a cow, which tips will you explore today?
About the author
Mel is the founder of Change with Mel and is on a mission to empower individuals, teams and organisations embrace and create positive change experiences for genuine growth, adaptability and resilience.
References
Godman, H. (2023) ‘10 ways to find purpose in life’, Harvard Health Publishing, 1 November. Available at: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/10-ways-to-find-purpose-in-life (Accessed: 26 December 2023).
Suttie, J. (2020) ‘Seven ways to find your purpose in life’, Greater Good Magazine. Available at: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/seven_ways_to_find_your_purpose_in_life (Accessed: 26 December 2023).
Ikonn, A. and Ramdas, UJ. (2021) The Five Minute Journal. Intelligent Change.
Davis, T. (2017) ‘Five steps to finding your life purpose’, Psychology Today, 12 December. Available at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201712/five-steps-finding-your-life-purpose (Accessed 26 December, 2023)
Morin, A. (2022) ‘7 tips for funding your purpose in life’, Very Well mind, 26 December. Available at https://www.verywellmind.com/tips-for-finding-your-purpose-in-life-4164689 (Accessed 26 December, 2023)
